A few weeks ago my youngest son and I were waiting in the drive-thru at Starbucks. The line was slow moving that day. As we continued to sit, my son yelled from his car seat, “What’s taking so long?!”. Truthfully I didn’t know. I was feeling rather impatient myself so I suggested we say a prayer for patience. (Not necessarily because I needed to be patient about the situation- it really wasn’t a big deal, but more so to teach my son to pray when we feel in need).
I glanced to the backseat to see his precious little hands folded together, beautiful eyes squeezed closed, and the sweetest little voice whisper, “Dear Jesus, please get us some patience. Amen.” I mean honestly, it melted my heart right then and there.
I believe it was the next week I was sitting at my local Mops meeting. One of our group members was giving a brief talk and she said, “I remember my mom always told me to never pray for patience. She said God would test my me all day to see if I was learning patience.”
That struck me straight to my core.
I am the mother of two boys. Two very beautiful and sweet boys… who can also be two very rowdy, loud, and argumentative boys! I find myself constantly praying for patience throughout the day… and yelling. Yelling so much more than I ever thought I would.
I never wanted to be a yeller. I never thought I would be a yeller. For some reason, I thought I would have this supernatural ability to keep calm and easily diffuse the typical childish behavior.
Boy oh boy was I so wrong!
Yesterday, as I was climbing the stairs to diffuse yet another morning toothpaste war between my kids, I could feel the tension mounting inside my body. I just wanted one morning to go smoothly. I mean how hard is it to follow through with the simple command to go brush your teeth.
Apparently it is the most difficult task ever because every day it is a battle. Frankly, it’s a battle I’m ready to give up on. Some days I throw a temper tantrum in my head, “Fine, don’t brush your teeth! See if I care!”
But as I climbed the stairs and I began to pray for patience, the word gentleness ran over me. “Pray for gentleness.” So that’s what I did. I was tired, running low on steam, and just needed to get out the door but instead of my usual patience prayer, I prayed a gentleness prayer.
Today, I decided to do a quick dictionary search of the two words.
Patience: the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting upset.
Okay so I have to break that down: number 1- accept it! 2) accept it without getting upset! Whew, yup, I’ve been praying the wrong prayer! Now, don’t hear me incorrectly, there is certainly a time for patience and as parents I believe we do need to be able to withstand suffering… but these situations I’m speaking about… I’m not lacking patience, because I don’t believe I need to withstand or tolerate what’s happening. But I do need to correct the behavior and I need to correct it in the appropriate way.
Gentleness: the quality of being kind, tender, or mild mannered.
I will be the first to admit, I am not always the most gentle person. I’m not always gentle with those I should be most gentle with.
Gentleness is a quality. And what I find comforting in the word is just that- it’s a quality and qualities can be learned and adapted. I may not naturally be a gentle person, but I can pray for God to instill gentleness inside of me. I can pray He will give me a kind and tender heart.
As I made my way down the hallway to the bathroom, I was reminded that my kids are small. They are still learning and forming their own qualities. How can I expect them to be kind and tender to others if I am not willing to be kind and tender to them.
They are 3 and 5. Toothpaste is hilarious at this age, apparently. And I guess for now, they may need a little more supervision in that area than what I had thought.
Instead of allowing my temper to be quick in those situations, I’m trying to resolve to be more tender in those moments. I recognize I am their mother and I have been given the direct responsibility of teaching them to grow, thrive, and be good human beings in this world.
Some days are harder than others but I know for certain we are equipped by God in all of our needs, especially in our needs as mothers.
Galatians 5:22-25 says this, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”
Friends, I need this reminder DAILY! Each morning, I have to pray for the Lord to equip me with His Holy Spirit for the day ahead.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Lord, Equip us in the areas where we will be tested today. Lord, when we feel our temper rising, fill us with your of gentleness! Lord, remind us of Your fruit, because we know it is good. Lord, remind us we are Your children and because of that, we have Your Spirit within us- Your Spirit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Most importantly, may we know we cannot attain these fruits without You! Lord, help us to be the mothers You have designed us to be. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
With Love,
Shandyn
The Anchored Mama 